I Think My iPod is Sentient

Remember Furbies? Yeah, me neither.

Anyway, one of the things that Furbies were designed to do was to have a built in vocabulary of English words that the Furby would only gradually use as time went on and the child spent more time "talking" to it. This created the illusion that the child was teaching the little creature how to speak.


What does this have to do with anything? Well, I've been thinking, Furbies came out years ago and technology advances at a exponential rate, so wouldn't it stand to reason that by now it would actually be possible for a machine to gradually learn things from and about their user?

I don't know. I'm just a Theater major. It seems plausible to me.



The reason I bring this up is because I'm beginning to think that my iPod has grown accustomed to my personality and habits. Furthermore, I think the iPod is using this knowledge not to entertain or help me, but to mock me like the sly white devil it is.



I used to think it was just always in the opposite mood I was in. When I put it on during a party, it would always make sure to play the dreariest, most depressing music possible. When I put it on during a romantic situation, it would play the least sexy music known to man (I have the full album). However, the other day it did something that led me to believe that it wasn't just a poor judge of mood, it was actually just trying to make fun of me.

I was waiting in line to buy books at the Co-Op (17 separate plays for one class? Jesus.) and this incredibly cute blonde girl comes in and gets in line next to me. As if I were living in a Cameron Crowe movie or something, my iPod instantly begins playing "Somewhere Someone's Falling in Love" by John Prine.

That's fine enough and I was really starting to feel a total serendipitous moment. Hell, the music selection had even emboldened me enough to start talking to this random girl (a very un-me thing to do). I probably would have had my iPod not suddenly switched tracks to Pino Donaggio's score for the Brian DePalma movie "Body Double". Specifically, it played music from the scene where the hero has become obsessed with the mystery girl and has devolved into a creepy stalker. Of course, this instantly shamed me into looking straight ahead and not even thinking about the girl for the rest of my time in the store.

Fuck you, iPod. I wouldn't have been surprised if the next track on its "random" shuffle had just been 3 minutes of derisive laughter.


(I've already posted this song on the blog but what the hell)