America 20XX Has a Venue and a Date (and no, I'm not referring to "America" or "20XX")

Exciting news for all you cool people getting ready to see me (and probably a few other people you know) in Cyriaque Lamar's original comedy play America 20XX: FringeNYC has given us our venue and our show dates!
You can read all about it here, at the play's totally rocking official site. The short story is that we will be performing at The Players Theatre located in Greenwich Village right by Washington Square Park. Take it away, Google Maps!


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We'll be performing in a 180 seat theater in Greenwich Village. That's a bit of a step up from Scott Hall. Check out this picture:


Hells yeah!
Like I said, we also received showdates but I shouldn't post them until the official announcement on July 5th as they are subject to change. I hope they don't as their pretty plum times (one late night weekend show in perticular).

For those of you who missed my last post on the subject, America 20XX is a comedic post-apocalyptic one-act about the world's last superheroes, The Power Patriots. It's written and directed by CAP alum and current Cracked writer, Cyriaque Lamar and stars many current and former members of Wacky Hijinks, the sketch comedy group I'm in. It also is awesome.

Now that we have all the specifics worked out, I need to start learning these fucking lines. Cyriaque's the best director in that he keeps bringing liquor to rehearsals. And we're the worst cast in that we keep drinking it.

Keep checking america20xx.com for all news regarding the play! And, y'know, this blog.

Putting the "Music" in "Zipperface!!?!: The Hobo Musical" (plus a rather exciting announcement)

A month or so ago I went to New York to interview for an internship with the Colbert Report in the fall. It's was an absolutely massive long shot. Like Eugene O'Neill stage directions long. So I decided not to write anything about it here since I didn't want to jinx myself and I also didn't want to spend months telling everyone who had read the post that I eventually didn't get it.
But I got it.

Yay, hooray for me. I'm awesome, I know. But, yeah, this fall I will be spending three days a week trying to bring Stephen Colbert coffee without accidentally making direct eye contact. It's easily the coolest thing that's happened to me in years. However, I'm going to my best not to get too excited about it since the amount of joy and excitement I feel about something is directly related to the amount of ways it will fall apart right in front of my eyes.

So, to keep from thinking about it, I've been thinking about other cool things Like the fact that the music from Zipperface, the musical I co-wrote, is online! That's right, Brent, resident CAP documenter has uploaded a bunch of songs and soundbites from the show and they're absolutely great.
Of course, let me do my paranoid creater thing and point out the deficiencies right off the bat. Unfortunately, these were taken from the worst performance so I can hear all kinds of problems. Most obviously, this was the night that the guitar was knocked over back stage and was then out of tune for Terry's song (one of my favorites in the show, dammit) so that Dave had to stop playing. Also, you can hear people stumble over lyrics and pacing a few times and somehow we lost the recording of the title song.

Oh, I'm gonna shut up. The songs sound great and it's fantastic to finally get to hear them again. Dave, Andy, and I (and I hope Zach, as well) will be giving them and the eventual video (when it's edited) our undying attention as we try to rewrite the script and bring Zipperface to the next stage. Until then, you can enjoy these as they are and you people who missed the show can kind of see what I've been talking about for the past few months (and be really fucking confused by the references to robots and dinosaurs).

So, here are a few samples.


First off, is the opening tune by a couple members of the Hobo Band:

I can't say enough about how much these guys added to the show. They were made up by members of the New Brunswick band, the Seal Club and were led by Zach Wiseley. Zach is an absolute genius. He also arranged the songs and was able to make them sound like actual musical tunes. I would ask him to do ridiculous stuff like, "Hey, Zach, could you arrange a mixture of all the songs in the first act into one tune to play at the beginning of the second act?" and he'd just do it. Absolutely amazing.

Next we have Morese singing one of the best songs in the show:

Again, this is the night with the shitty guitar. You can hear it right at the beginning. It's so depressing because I absolutely love this song. Fortunately, Morese sells the rest of it and the band sounds great otherwise so it still works. Brent included some dialogue at the end with the punchline of the song. It's a visual joke, so you people who missed the show are gonna be lost, but the rest of us can have fun reminiscing.

Unsurprisingly, I also am posting the Cuban Robot Wars medley, which Brent kept in its entirety. It may be seven and a half minutes long and utterly nonsensical to anyone who didn't see the show (and some who did) but it includes my cameo so, whatever. Plus, it's pretty damn rocking:

For you people who are really confused, here's a brief explanation. I'll try my best to make it simple. The play Zipperface is narrated by a hobo. In the beginning he states that the reason he is able to create the show is because he has software implanted in his head from something he calls "the Cuban Robot Wars". The audience usually shrugs this off as just silly dialogue from a crazy character, however, in act two, the play is interrupted by the narrator having a seizure. Another hobo takes over, however, he doesn't actually know the plot of Zipperface so, when the show starts up again, the audience gets treated to an entirely different musical set during the fabled wars and starring all robots. I played the lead robot.
Understand? Eh. I tried.
In the things that go wrong category, this was the night that I started to laugh and then said "robat" instead of "robot" during my first line. Pretty embarassing to fuck up one of lines when you only have about eight. Especially if you wrote it.

And finally, the best song in the show, the Finale Song:

Nothing went wrong here. This song rules and it will always rule. Plus, this was the night Izzy came to see the show and she was nice enough to hoot when I came onstage to deliver my line. This makes it sound to the untrained ears like I'm some kind of super stud. If only.

If you want to listen to the rest of the songs, you can download them here:
Download: Zipperface!!?!: The Hobo Musical - Music and Soundbites
Again, it's missing the title song but there are a few well-chosen soundbites to make up for it. Like this one:


God, I love this show.

And, hey, I'm interning at the Colbert Report!

Satirical Political Commentary...TO THE MAX!!!

For the past few weeks, this has been my Facebook photo:



I have given no explanation for this picture. Until now. You see, I may have a job and I may be heading down to Atlantic City to film a horror movie. But what do I do with the other 0.037% of my time. Well, I go to New Bunswick to rehearse America 20XX, an original comedic one-act appearing in this year's New York International Fringe Festival!


The play was written and is being directed by Cyriaque Lamar who currently writes damn funny articles for Cracked.com, a couple of which have been linked to all over the fucking place. Hell, you mit have even read one by now. More importantly, however, Cyriaque is a former member of Wacky Hijinks sketch comedy group at Rutgers. And, not being one to forget his roots, when his play got accepted to the festival, he casted it entirely with current and former Hijinks people (plus Matt Herron for the hell of it). I'm lucky enough to be one of those people and my profile picture is an outtake from our publicity photo session where we took bad ass pictures like this one:


You can see more pictures and lots of other cool stuff at the play's official website, America20xx.com.


At this point, your probably wondering what the plays about. Well, it's set in an apocalyptic future where the country's last super heroes, the Power Patriots, have to use horrible secrets from their past to destroy an evil mp3 player because a Clint Eastwood look-a-like told them to. Now, at this point, you're probably looking at me like I'm crazy and slowly backing towards the door. I don't blame you. However, trust me when I say it will all make sense when you see it. And if it doesn't, it will still be bad-ass awesome and damned funny!


The publicity materials describe the play as "star-spangled satre" and "extreme political science fiction!". I describe it as "a comedy so gay it took a bunch of straight people to produce it".


The pictures were taken a few weeks ago in my basement (it has the feel of some place war-torn) by Cyriaque's girlfriend, Annie. They needed to be in to Fringe in the next few days so we had to get something together soon. While we only had one costume finished (the eagle mask which has Cyriaque inside it and is basically the whole costume for Super Eagle, who Cyriaque describes as "the Chewbacca of the play") we had to just gather together whatever we could find from the CAP prop room. So, while Greg and I make up the other two members of the Power Patriots in the play, those costumes have nothing to do with our actual characters. Unfortunately, the other membrs of the cast couldn't make it, including the girlfriend, Sam, who was horribly sick and was curled up in a ball in my room upstairs. Sorry you missed out, sweetheart!


Anywho, we'll be performing in this summer's Fringe Festival in New York. We will be in one of the off-Broadway theaters involved (the first time I've ever been in a play produced somewhere not affiliated with a school of some kind!) for five performances in mid-August. We'll know the exact where's and when's on July 5th when Fringe releases the final schedule.


Keep posted, America!*



*"America" being the eight people who read this blog.

Senior Citizen

So the school year ended. I am now a senior in college. I am forced to confront the fact that the utter terror that is the real world is a very concrete and nearby future. And I don't even get a prom to soften the blow this time!

However, to take my mind off that, both theater groups I'm involved with at Rutgers had their annual awards ceremonies!

For those of you that don't know, the Cappies (College Avenue Players) and the Cabaret Ball (Cabaret Theatre) are the annual back-pat-a-thon/circle-jerks that we in the theater community throw to help celebrate how awesome we are by giving out awards. And by drinking and wearing goofy costumes.

And now a run down (with pictures!):

The Cappies

Last year's CAP awards ceremony was kind of lame. The theme sucked ("Mythological creatures"? What the fuck?) and we were stuck in the tiny basement of Tumultis on George Street. This year, however was much better. We were at the local elk's lodge and the theme was "Classy 80s Coke and Whore Party" which was a shit-load more fun. Plus I was 21 this time!

In the end, Wacky Hijinks won Best Show which was pretty damn exciting. It would have been even more exciting had 7/8 of the cast all been on the voting committee. But whatever, we won! Whoo!

The Cast of Hijinks (minus Dave)

Next came the after party which was at Jamie and Holly's house and was a Rubics Cube Party. For those of you that don't know, a RCP is when everyone comes wearing all different colors and keep trading until they are wearing only one. I ended up completing seven damn colors (all of a rubics cube plus black) and I only ruined two girls' shirts in the process.
















Halfway through, someone asked me why I was getting so into the game. I told them it was because I had a girlfriend now so there really wasn't anything else to do at a party.


By the end of the night, things devolved into a pantsless dance party both inside and out. This may have been based on my suggestion and campaigning. At least that's what people tell me. I don't remember.

All in all, a fun night.

The Cabaret Ball

My freshmen year, the Cabaret Ball was absolutely amazing. Then last year, it sucked. I blame that mostly on the fact that the theme was "Dress as a drink". What on earth does that mean? I ended up throwing bunny ears on and carrying a hammer. I was a Harvey Wallbanger.

This year the theme was a little bit more interesting. It was "Guilty Pleasures". It took me forever to come up with something and then finally I had the perfect costume. I went as the movie Love Actually. See:

Basically, I didn't know how to dress up as lesbian porn.
Ha! You think that's gross, try this:


Anyway, my costume was simple and also a big hit with the ladies. I was making hearts melt left and right with my actual love. Here are the pictures:

One with Sam
One with Rachel
One with Maddie
One with Jade

One with Ali

And one with...uh...Bassem
In the end, Hair won Best Show which was pretty damn exciting. It would have been even more exciting had we not had the biggest cast and therefore the biggest voting block. But whatever, we won! Whoo!
Then the after party where, I don't know, we all drank more.

Wrap-Up

Anywho, junior year was a really great year for me. I became much closer with a really great group of people and we worked hard and created some great stuff. And now I have a cute girl whose butt I can grab at any time without getting in trouble. Much love, Sam!

I guess what I'm trying to say is, I don't want to leave college. Oh God, I don't want to leave college.

"I Am the Wackiest of the Hijink."

"Live from Scott Hall, it's Wacky Hijinks...night!"



Thus began Wacky Hijinks 2008, some of the most fun I've ever had in college theater.

Well, ok, that's not exactly how it began. The show actually begins with 10 seconds of Andy drinking coffee followed by a sketch about Bear Fights, a secret organization of people who go out into the wilderness to regain their primal instincts (and fight bears), but this video was, I suppose, the official opening. It was edited by Adam and was one of the first signs I had that this show would be pretty darn good.

While I contributed a sketch freelance-style to Wacky Hijinks 2006, last year's show was my first as an official member of CAP's exclusive 8-member sketch troupe. It was a tumultous year with a lot of people butting heads but we came together in the end and ended up with an amazing show (those YouTube videos really don't do it justice).

When it came time to start working on this year's show, I was really worried about failing to live up to Hijinks 2007. We had lost our most senior member (Mena) and most prolific writer (Adam N.) and even our most aesthetically pleasing members (Mike and Nicole), yet people kept telling us that they were more excited for this year's show than they had been in a while. A voice in the back of my mind kept telling me we were gonna blow it. However, I told that voice to shut up and got ready to work.

Then the writer's block hit.

For almost a month, right in the prime writing season, I was incapable of coming up with anything funny. Well, that's not exactly accurate. It was more like I was incapable of finding anything funny. Any idea I came up with I would instantly shoot down. Any idea anyone else came up with I would shoot down. Even ideas I had written down and loved two weeks earlier I now hated. It was as if I had lost my entire sense of humor.

I remember the peak of it, where I was at this writing meeting with Zach, Greg, and Adam and I was just acting like a black hole of comedy, absolutely ripping apart anyone's material including my own. The worst part was that it was Adam's first real writing meeting and I was sure that, because of me, he would quit within the week.

Finally this period ended and I was able to start churning out sketches again and enjoy other people's. And enjoy them I did! We quickly amassed some of my favorite scenes and bits I've ever been involved in. I was sure the show would be great. And I remained sure until tech week where I again developed the same sense of dread that I gotten before every show this year (especially the other one I co-wrote, Zipperface!!?!).

And, just like Zipperface!!?! before it, all my fears turned out to be completely unfounded. The audiences loved the show and it was an absolutely amazing time. But even better than that, I really got close to the people involved. We hung out every day for the past couple of months at rehearsal and then spent hours together every night up in my attic. When we had problems during tech, we never fought or argued. Everything was nice and smooth and I have to say it was one of the best creative experiences I've ever had. It was the pinnacle of this mounting feeling I've had all year that I've surrounded myself with people who are really talented and who really make each other better through proximity.

This is something that will be put to the test soon enough when we try to start our own website. But, more on that when the time comes...

Anyway, back to Hijinks. Here are some more pictures of the show, most of which were taken by Darya on closing night. Once video becomes available, I'll post that here as well.