Deplorable Bathroom Habits

A while ago at work I got up from my desk to go to the bathroom (which is, of course, the single most promising way to start a story).
When I got down the hall, I saw the door closing in front of me and instantly let out a long sigh of anguish when I realized someone had just entered.
As anyone who has ever worked a day in their life knows, one needs a kind of getaway spot where you can go and just do...nothing. Everyone also knows, I'm sure, that the bathroom is the most obvious example of said oasis.
For me, it's perfect. I can just sit in there for 10 minutes staring blankly at the wall. It's much more relaxing than the other seven hours and 50 minutes of the day which I spend doing the exhausting task of staring blankly at a computer screen. However, all of this is ruined if there's someone else in the room as well. When I'm alone, the bathroom is an idyllic escape consisting of pristine white marble and flowing water. When there's someone else, it's just a room where I have to listen to other people urinate.
This is why I sighed in anguish.
So, I already had some feelings of animosity towards the intruder but this guy just went out of his way to ruin my prescious bathroom paradise.

First off, the guy was in the middle of three stalls. That's unnecessary off the bat.
The other two were empty, dude. I don't want to be right next to you if I don't have to.

Second, he was peeing in the stall. Like just peeing. Like standing up peeing.
Whoa, what's with that, man? The only dudes who pee in the stall are weirdos and guys with freak dicks.

And finally, the biggest dick move of all, this slimy skunk was peeing, standing up, with his legs spread akimbo so that his feet stuck into both of the other stalls. And he was wearing motherfucking flip flops!
Okay, buddy, that's too far. Now, not only was I stuck next to this douchebag, but I had to stare at his dirty fucking toes.

Some of you are probably wondering why I care so much. Some of you are probably wondering why I wrote a whole post about this. And some of you are probably angry that I put the image of a dirty men's toilet in your minds. Well, the thing is, I want to change the world for the better and my hope is that this bathroom misuser, whoever he is (he was new and I didn't know him) will someday read this blog.
So, to the future iteration of that jackass, I say to you this:
FOR SHAME. FOR SHAME.