Assimilation Complete

I haven't posted in a while but I'll make up for it with this: it's a video for the psychedelic band Zombie Zombie that uses stop motion to remake John Carpenter's great The Thing (which I just happened to rewatch two days ago) with GI Joe figures.
As a lover of The Thing, stop motion, and action figures, I can say it's pretty rocking.

Today is Your Last Chance to See America 20XX

This is it, ladies and gentlemen. There is only one more performance of America 20XX before it vanishes into the ether. If you're not sitting in the Players Theatre today (Monday the 18th) at 6 PM, you'll have missed it, brother.

To entice you further, I can post a link to another review we got which described Greg and my performances as "straight-faced and fantastic". It's for Theater Talks and is by a critic named Ellen Wernecke who went so far as listing our show as her "Biggest Surprise" of the first week of the festival on her Tumblr. She gets extra points because she's a book critic for the The A.V. Club.
Yeah, that's right, people from my favorite site liked our play.
Read her review here.

And, to keep this blog even-handed I'll link to a mediocre review we got as well. They described the performances as "energetic and well-intentioned but lackluster". Thanks.
Enjoy that review here.

Anyway, get the fuck out and see America 20XX!

Only a Few More Chances!

For all those people out there who have yet to see America 20XX, your chances are running out!

There are only three more performances to see myself and others in Cyriaque's deranged dose of Poli-Sci-Fi (I stole that phrase from the Time Out review...).

The three performances are tonight, tomorrow night (crazy late night show!), and Monday. All the information can be found on the show's website here.

In the mean time, check out this interview Cyriaque did for the official FringeNYC podcast. It's pretty funny and you'll learn a lot about the show. You can listen to it here. Cyriaque comes on around the 23 minute mark.

So get your ass to the city because I'm starring in a Goddamned Off-Broadway show and you need to see it!

New Sorrow Hill Trailer!

I haven't had a chance to talk about Sorrow Hill, which I wrapped on a week and a half ago because I've been so busy with America 20XX (only three more performances! Go see it! Go see it!). I plan on doing a big write-up of the experience eventually but, until then, I'll just point you to the Grindhouse Pictures website, where Ron has posted a brand new trailer!
There's a great shot of me in there but, since I know that that's not getting anyone to click any links, I will also say that there are quite a few shots of our female lead (former Hijinks member, Nicole) in her underwear!

Enjoy!

ps. Holy shit, this is my 100th post on this blog! Yay me!

Two Shows and Two Wildly Different Reviews In...

Well, as that picture proves, I have starred in an Off-Broadway play that went all the way through. That's right, we have now completed our first weekend of America 20XX and it was some of the most fun I ever had.

Right after I wrote the last post here I took a shower to get ready for opening night and I realized something: I was genuinely terrified about this. I think it all has to do with the fact that this was entirely different than everything I've ever done. We performed this in an actual theater in New York in the middle of Greenwich Village and that meant that the audience wasn't just gonna be our friends this time. No, we were going to be performing for impossible to please NY Hipsters and Bitchy Theater Queers.

And let me tell you, that shit it scary.

But we did it. We performed for paying customers. How crazy is that?

The Reviews

One thing that makes this show different from all the shows I've done in the past is the fact that there are actually people in the audience there to review us. So far we've had four critics come, two of them have posted their reviews and man, are these reviews wild. One is too good to be true and the other is quite possibly the worst review I've ever read for anything. To show you how different they are, I will post two quotes back to back.

From Time Out New York and Talkin' Broadway:

"The beginning of the show made me laugh until I cried"

"America 20XX isn’t inspiring - just embarrassing."

Yep, that's some difference of opinion. Fortunately the good review came from a much more reputable site (Time Out) but unfortunately, the bad review is jut insanely bad. I have no problem linking to it here because the guy clearly just didn't get the show. And I'm not saying there really is anything to get. And I think that's the point. The guy just seems to hate us personally and especially the fact that we're college students (something he brings up multiple times for some reason which is especially weird considering only three out of seven of us are).

Anyway, you should read both reviews because the bad one is hilarious (I personally will be using the phrase "and the posing, prancing, and declaiming that pass for acting" all the time!) and because the good one will hopefully get you in the seats.

Remember, there are only three more shows left before America 20XX is over and I hate you forever!

If that doesn't get you to come, maybe this picture will:

PS. I haven't gotten around to posting my August playlist yet so I might just wait till next month. Sorry.
PPS. Support America 20XX cast members in their other endeavors! Dave's got a new video on Heavy.com. This one lists the Top 10 Gayest Action Movies. His bosses really give him some interesting assignments, don't they?

America 20XX is TODAY!

The date is finally here, everyone! In just a few short hours America 20XX, the play written and directed by Cyriaque Lamar and starring members of Wacky Hijinks will premiere.

Is it good? Well, we got the primetime 7:30 pm slot on opening night of the 2008 New York Fringe Festival, so it damn well better be good.

The whole thing's really exciting. Not only do we get to be a part of this amazing festival and meet all the cool people involved (and hit up the parties...), we also get to perform in an honest to God Off-Broadway theater! Come tomorrow, I can say without fear or repercussion that I have starred in an Off-Broadway play. That's just bad ass.

We finally got to go to the actual venue last Monday and it really is perfect. It's one of the best venues in the entire festival (out of the 18 involved). It's literally right on the edge of Washington Square Park in this real trendy area so we're sure to get a lot of walk-in audience members. And we may get even more with some of the publicity we've got coming up.

Cyriaque did an interview today which will go on the Fringe Podcast (I'll link to it when it's up) and they told him that some of the Media Passes have already been reserved for our show which is absolutely terrifying. I've never before been reviewed by anyone except my parents.

I've gotta keep my mind off that stuff though or I'll freak myself out. So, instead, I'll think about this awesome sketch. Here it is with the picture it was based on:

The drawing was done by Dan Pillis for the show's program. He's the guy who did the great drawing of the publicity photo which I posted a while back. He made sketches of all us and you can see them at the site or, even better, when you get your program at the door.

So yeah, get the fuck out and see America 20XX at some point over the next couple of weeks. You can buy your tickets online for added ease and if you're extra nice, you might even get to come out for drinks with us afterwards!

Anywho, I'll leave you with this tantalizing teaser: if you come to America 20XX, you'll get all the extreme political science fiction you crave, and you'll even get to find out what scene this song is in:

God, why don't today's music videos have as many nipples as that one?

Deplorable Bathroom Habits

A while ago at work I got up from my desk to go to the bathroom (which is, of course, the single most promising way to start a story).
When I got down the hall, I saw the door closing in front of me and instantly let out a long sigh of anguish when I realized someone had just entered.
As anyone who has ever worked a day in their life knows, one needs a kind of getaway spot where you can go and just do...nothing. Everyone also knows, I'm sure, that the bathroom is the most obvious example of said oasis.
For me, it's perfect. I can just sit in there for 10 minutes staring blankly at the wall. It's much more relaxing than the other seven hours and 50 minutes of the day which I spend doing the exhausting task of staring blankly at a computer screen. However, all of this is ruined if there's someone else in the room as well. When I'm alone, the bathroom is an idyllic escape consisting of pristine white marble and flowing water. When there's someone else, it's just a room where I have to listen to other people urinate.
This is why I sighed in anguish.
So, I already had some feelings of animosity towards the intruder but this guy just went out of his way to ruin my prescious bathroom paradise.

First off, the guy was in the middle of three stalls. That's unnecessary off the bat.
The other two were empty, dude. I don't want to be right next to you if I don't have to.

Second, he was peeing in the stall. Like just peeing. Like standing up peeing.
Whoa, what's with that, man? The only dudes who pee in the stall are weirdos and guys with freak dicks.

And finally, the biggest dick move of all, this slimy skunk was peeing, standing up, with his legs spread akimbo so that his feet stuck into both of the other stalls. And he was wearing motherfucking flip flops!
Okay, buddy, that's too far. Now, not only was I stuck next to this douchebag, but I had to stare at his dirty fucking toes.

Some of you are probably wondering why I care so much. Some of you are probably wondering why I wrote a whole post about this. And some of you are probably angry that I put the image of a dirty men's toilet in your minds. Well, the thing is, I want to change the world for the better and my hope is that this bathroom misuser, whoever he is (he was new and I didn't know him) will someday read this blog.
So, to the future iteration of that jackass, I say to you this:
FOR SHAME. FOR SHAME.

Poor, Poor Porn Star

For those of you who don't know, I live in a house with 11 other guys and, I'm sorry to say, it is a veritable den of inequity. I say this because I don't want you gentle readers to be too shocked when I tell you that we once had a house subscription to an online porn site. It's a painful admission but it's one I must make for you to enjoy this e-mail I'm about to post.
You see, we let our subscription lapse and apparently that made Naughty America really sad. They let their sense of betrayal known with this heartfelt message:

Samuel, I know you let your membership lapse recently, and, don't worry there's no hard feelings. But things will get hard if you renew. And I mean hard in a good way.

Audrey Bitoni, who is one of the most beautiful women to ever grace a Naughty America shoot, has just made a riviting scene for I Have A Wife. That's our newest site and features hot young hussies like Audrey attempting to get in the pants of married men (with great success, I might add).

She says she put in an extra special sexy surprise just for you, and was very sad when I told her you let the membership expire.

It wasn't a pretty sight (even though Audrey is very pretty -- and very hot), and she insisted I do whatever it takes to get you to re-up the membership pronto.

So help a brother out and sign up again to watch Audrey's scene. You'll get access to all the hot sites, including I Have A Wife, our new threesome site, 2 Chicks Same Time, and Naughty America Live, which gives fans the chance to ask probing questions
to actresses who are busy probing themselves.

It works out three ways: Audrey will be so happy you've returned, you'll get the joys that come with being a Naughty America member, and I avoid being slapped silly by a heartbroken celebrity.

Oh, that poor girl. We're still not going to resubscribe. Hopefully that doesn't mean that we can expect our in-boxes to soon be filled with sad porn star poetry.

Notes from My Morning Commute

Drove by the movie theater on the way to work this morning and they were advertising a bunch of screenings on their big LCD screen. One of them was last night's Mummy 3 midnight show.
Man, that must have been the loneliest sceening ever. Seriously, was there anyone out there thinking, "Oh my God! I just can't wait a few more hours! The mummies are Asian in this one!"